September always seems like the season of new beginnings. Probably because I was in school (as student or teacher) from age 6 through age 33, September, as the start of a new school year, always seems like a time of possibility, cleaning and decluttering, re-focus and starting new projects.
This September there has been a lot of leaving of bands, for a number of us. My guitar teacher, after 16 years, decided to stop performing every weekend with his cover band who is reknowned all over the state, because he was finding that when he performed, he no longer got the ego and artistic gratification he used to, and instead just felt the pain of not being with his two small kids. He was supposed to play the last local concert mid-summer, at the spot where he officially proposed to his wife during a break in a concert by that same band, so it's a special spot for them, but it got rained out (I don't remember another one ever getting rained out, and this band has hardly cancelled a show in its 20+many years of existence). The show was rescheduled to last Thursday, the last spot in the summer calendar for the venue, and then as it turns out it would be he second-last show ever with this band. And it got rained out as well. So his actual last show was way out of town somewhere north of Portage, and we didn't go, but the photos were on Facebook this morning, and it looks like it was an appropriate finale for his tenure. I'm sorry I didn't get to see him one more time, but I can treasure the memories of the very many times I saw him with them over the years. I'm proud that he had the self-insight to know that this was the right thing to do and this was the right time to do it.
I've also left or disbanded several ensembles that I've been playing with for a long time. We made the decision not to continue in the Community Gamelan group. There were many things that made it a tough decision - a professional group from Bali will be in residence this month and the group is doing workshops with them; the group is spending a weekend at Bjorklunden in Door County, a retreat space owned by the university, where I've always wanted to go; the daughter of the group's leaders, who I remember being just a bump in her mother's belly, learned some traditional Balinese dances over the summer and will be performing them with the group at this year's concert. But on balance, we felt we weren't getting anything new out of playing, had reached the limit of our expertise on the instruments, and could do something else with the very awkwardly scheduled hours each week. So we're not renewing for this Fall, and will be taking a break after being there at or nearly from the very founding of the group.
And then I've taken a hiatus from the monthly Music Making group that I started, what, five years ago? It would meet on about the third Sunday of each month, at my house, and people would bring photocopied tabs and we would all play and sing together. Many people have come over the years, some only once, but the core group was all beginners who one way or another came to the group via my guitar teacher. It was a Beginner Jam. We had the basic rule of three chords maximum, and it is amazing the amount of repertoire you can find that fits that rule, but over the years we've all improved and so could tackle more complicated chords and rhythms. I can't express all the group gave me - it made me a better and more confident guitarist (really reinforcing the lesson my teacher told me, that nobody cares if you make a mistake as long as you keep the rhythm going, because the rhythm is your contract with the audience, who is dancing), I feel like I found my voice as a singer (who thought I could ever do a decent job at something so soulfull as "Feelin' Alright"?), and it made me a better band leader, able to throw solos in time that the soloist could be ready by the downbeat. I will use all these things going forward, and couldn't have learned them any other way than by playing regularly with other people. But lately, the repertoire hasn't resonated with me, and I felt unprepared when the day rolled around and didn't keep the jam going at a good pace, and I have a better idea of the songs I really do want to learn and play, which don't fit this model. And it was a Beginners Jam and none of us are beginners any more. So I'm going to extend the hiatus indefinitely, although I still need to write to everyone and let them know.
What am I keeping? I still plan to sing in the church choir, because it's a chance to harmonize vocally with other people, which is one of the best things in life. That starts up again next Sunday. And then there's an electric, blues-and-country-and-freeform jam I've been doing with my dear other half and another former student of my guitar teacher, in which I've been exploring others roles like lead singer, rhythm guitarist, bass player, and percussionist, which my ego used to prevent me from being happy about. This group can play very complicated chords and rhythms, and the songs are closer to the center of what I want to learn right now. So this one is still going, aiming for every two weeks but actually ending up about once a month.
And I'm toying with re-joining a community Orchestra which I tried for about 10 weeks a few years ago, playing cello for the first time in 30 years but delightedly still remembering how. That meets once a week, way on the north side of town, super far from work, and so may end up being too much right now, but we'll see.
But mainly, and centrally, we have a whole list of songs, my other half and I, that mean a lot of both of us, that we've been working on as just guitar and vocal duos. None of them are quite up to speed, but could easily be so with a few nights of practice, and we have ideas of a concert of an evening of these things, or a recording project, or maybe some guerilla appearances at various open mike nights, not sure what will become of them, but this project is very central to my musical interests, and so satisfying to my musical expression, and so it's the current spiritual focus.
So, many of us are leaving bands this September, but it will make room for new bands and new things to learn and new self-expression.
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