Thursday, November 12, 2015

My Place in Music History

So, I've been listening to several different lecture series on the history of Western Classical Music, and this view of the grand sweep of music and culture since about 1100 to about 1916 has given me some ideas about my own place in music history.

I. Collaboration vs Auteur

First, I can play a part in returning music to a state it hasn't been in since Medieval times. A recent lecture I listened to from a series about Opera made a contrast between the earliest Gregorian chants, which were monophonic (had one melody line), that pretty much followed the words, and early polyphony, in which more than one line was sung at once.  With this fact, that more than one note would be sung at the some time, came the obligation for someone to make choices about which notes those would be, and a requirement for the skill to know which notes would be better than others.  It required a composer, and with that we had a distinction between the composer, the performers, and the audience, whose role was to sit and listen.

The lecturer pointed out that we still live in that world today, which we certainly do, but I have noticed in my own life more and more opportunities for communal music-making.  Community groups like Gamelan Sekar Gemuda bring people of all different ages and musical abilities together to play in an ensemble - ensemble is totally the most important thing about Gamelan, and through playing together we are bonded into a community.  Community education events at the Mile of Music Festival often provide opportunities for music-making to anyone.  The education leaders lead people in rhythm exercises, group sings, drumming circles, and again, Gamelan.  Anyone can do it, and it's an occasion for everyone to do it together.  And my monthly jam sessions are designed to give adult musicians a chance to play together, regardless of expertise or level.  They have ended up being jam sessions for beginner women, but that's fine.  It's a chance for all of us to make music together.  And then church, of course, is a time when the whole congregation sings together, and Episcopalians are known for always singing in four parts.

So I'm doing my part to restore the communal, participative nature of music, which is a move away from the expert-audience divide that has dominated since those polyphonic chants.

II. Craft to glorify God vs Ego

I listened to a whole set of lectures on JS Bach, and a whole other set on WA Mozart.  Both of them were working before the Romantic period.  By the time you got to post-Beethoven, the point of composing was individual expression by the composer.  The compositions were supposed to be about the composer's inner life, either his (usually his) thoughts and dreams, or his emotions, or his memories.  This shift led to a cult of personality, in which composers were treated like rock stars in their own time period, and then the attendant bad behavior - overindulgence, manipulation of groupies of the opposite sex, extravagent lifestyles, etc.  But Bach and Mozart were working back when composing was a craft.  You got hired by either the church or the local government, and you were expected to provide music for all the occasions those institutions demanded.  Plus direct the choir, plus teach the children and direct their choir, plus provide piece to honor royalty, and whatever else your bosses decided to call upon you to do.  The lecturer played two fragments of pieces written by Mozart on the week that his father died.  The first one, yes, sounded dark.  Did it truly reflect Mozart's grief and anguish, which he never expressly reflected in his letters to anyone?  But then the lecturer played another piece, composed that same week, which was light and buoyant and not dark at all.  Neither piece can be concluded to express the inner emotional state of the composer, because that's not what music was for back at that time.  Composing was a craft, at which both Bach and Mozart were very good and accomplished, and they did it because they were paid to do it, and they did it well to glorify God.

Everything always turns out better if you do it out of generosity rather than out of Ego.  Viewing composition as a craft, and a gift to be used to illuminate to others the wonder of creation, that point of view takes a lot of pressure off.  Composition isn't being done to prove what a big deal you are.  You are just one of millions of composers, and your songs are just part of the uncountable multitude of songs.  You are like one of the composers of the many, many Gregorian chants that survive.  You can't listen to one and pick out the composer's particular style, because it wasn't about expressing a particular style.  All those hundreds of composers were working within a single genre, to follow those musical rules and create something that could be sung as part of a formal ritual, inside a church.  Many times per week.

We have lived in the age of the musical Ego ourselves.  Think of the rock stars of the 1960's.  But that era is done now.  The fragmentation of the music industry that everyone bemoans has prevented the possibility of a star of that 1960's magnitude.  No one artist can have such universal cultural domination.  The means of consumption have fragmented - with iPods, streaming, YouTube, random discoveries on Bandcamp.  We are not all listening to the same thing any more, which leads to very specialized niches and subcultures.

More importantly, the means of production are fragmented and have been democratized.  Any person can cut a multi-track album, at home.  Mix it on their computer, load it up online, boom, you are in the music business.  You are a recorded artist.  Anyone can do it.  There are no gatekeepers - record company A&R men (usually men), radio programmers, concert promoters.  The star system is gone.  Which means pursuing music for Ego reasons is going to be unsuccessful anyway.  So you might as well take the more Renaissance approach.  Compose and play and record your songs as a craft.  Compose and play and record as many of them as you can!  It doesn't matter if the marketplace is crowded - in fact, it's supposed to be.  Your obligation is to make a sound in your own voice.  You need to be you, as fully as possible, and so does everyone else, and there is plenty of room for all of this.  This stance takes away the competition, and the rank ordering.  Who cares if I'll never be as good a guitar player as Stevie Ray Vaughn?  Or even Joan Jett?  That's not what the project is here.  My project is to make the music that I would make.  These sounds that are inside me (because of who I am and when I grew up and who I loved and who knows what else?), my job is to get them out, just to do it, not to get rich or famous or be better than anyone else.

We are already living in this world.  The Ego era is over now, and we can go back to being craftspersons of glory.

III.  Spirit -> Mind -> Body

Those Medieval chants have a pure, clear tone, and a peace about them, because they are meant to sound angelic, they are messages to Heaven, and they were written to form a part of formal worship practices.

In the transition to the Enlightenment, the same transition that made composition about the composer, there was also a transition from spirit to mind.  There was a belief in Reason, and in the human ability to put our minds to problems and figure them out.  The human mind made the world perfectable.  The focus came down from God and onto human achievement, leading to progress.

Okay, so if that's true, then where are we now?  What is the focus of 20th century music?  And of course the answer is simple - it is the body.

The most popular music, world-wide, of the last century, is highly repetitive dance music - Rock and Roll (and its permutations - Rock, Pop, Rap/Hip Hop, Disco, Dance, etc).  It wouldn't even sound like music to earlier composers, because it doesn't have the kind of melody lines or harmonization that they would be used to.  It doesn't develop along a path, it just repeats back around, over and over.  That is music that speaks to the hips, and the feet, not the mind or the heart.

The 20th century's music was about the body, and the 21st century's is as well - expanding into World Music, rhythms and sounds from places outside of Western Europe.



So, my place in music history is to write music based on simple, repetitive rhythms, and then play it together with other people, while also playing their compositions too.


Note: This blog post relies extremely heavily on the wonderful lectures of Professor Robert Greenberg.

Saturday, August 29, 2015

DIY - Celebrate Diversity

So, I've been listening to a series of lectures on the history of European Concert Music, and the lecturer does a great job of describing the cultural context and how it shaped the music of various periods.

He pointed out how Enlightenment values led to the Baroque era music of Bach and Corelli and all of them.  It was the time of scientific and intellectual advancement, and of Martin Luther, and so the focus of the culture was off of God and onto human experience.  The rise of the Middle Class meant that more people could attend concerts in the concert hall, and it led to a homgenization of concert music, driving all compositions to the common denominator.  There was a demand for music that everyone would like.  He pointed out that all national character was driven out of composition, and illustrated the point by playing sections of three sonatas of the time and asked us, the listeners, to try to identify the nationality of their composers.  I guessed, maybe German, maybe French, maybe English?  But it turns out all three composers were Czech.  It was a powerful demonstration that all music sounded basically the same, and it was driven there by a desire to reach everyone and have everyone be equal - all compositions became equal as well.

In contrast, by the time you get to Beethoven, and then even more so during the Romantic era that followed, the emphasis was on the composer's individual expression.  The lecturer played a section of a Baroque chamber music piece, and then played a section of the first movement of Beethoven's 5th Symphony.  He described how we would identify the first piece - Continuo instruments, sonata form, regular tempo, theme expressed in polyphonic lines - Baroque era.  It turns out it was composed by Corelli, but unless you were a Corelli specialist and were directly familiar with the piece already, nothing about it would tell you that.  In contrast, the 5th Symphony is recognizably not just a piece from its era, not just from Germany, not just a Beethoven piece, but as that specific work.  It sounds like nothing else but itself.

So, music history moved from compositions designed to appeal to everyone that ended up all sounding the same, to compositions designed to express the individual experience of the composer that have complete originality.

But that Romantic period was also the era of stars.  To his point, we can now listen to Baroque pieces by any composer and appreciate them as works from their time, but even though there were probably just as many people composing during Beethoven's time, their work hasn't survived down to us, because Beethoven, the star, takes all the cultural bandwidth.

So, where are we today?  We know that we are again in a period that emphasizes individual expression.  That grand Communist impulse to form us into one big culture and one big political entity and have everything equal by being exactly the same, that fell when the Berlin Wall fell and is over and done (I remember running across that vision when I read the book "The Motorcycle Diaries", and hearing that the young Che Guevara had a dream of united all of South America into one big unified country, celebrating what they all had in common.  It was so strange, an idea I not only had never heard of but just seemed completely unfathomable, given the era of revolution and nationalism and restoring of old boundaries out of the formerly large countries - the old Yugoslavia, the old Soviet Union, East Timor separating from Timor, South Sudan separating from Sudan).  Here in the US, we have moved past the "Melting Pot" era, where we consider all Americans as Americans first, and encourage assimilation and casting off of one's home language and culture.  Can you imagine that was ever the idea?  Now we celebrate our patchwork identity.  "Tossed Salad" is the new metaphor.  We celebrate diversity.  Every person is encouraged to express their authentic identify, and not be worried about conforming to old paradigms.

And, at the same time, the means of creative production have fallen into individual hands.  The tools for making a film, taking an artful high-quality photograph, recording a multi-track record, using "Paint" to make an original image - and, of course, not to forget, self-referentially, free access to tools for writing and publishing your writings, yes, like this right here that I'm doing right now - the means of creative production are easily available and (almost) freely available to to (almost) all.

That new access, sure, has led to fragmentation.  We're no longer in a "Hey Jude" era where everyone is listening to the same song at the same time.  The magnitude and duration of our stars has declined.  It has profoundly changed the industry and the means for making a living from artistic pursuits, However, it has enabled individual creative expression on a profoundly more broad scale.

So, that's my prediction, that we are in the culture era of fragmented, local, diverse composition.  No one composer, no one performer, no one band, no one song may define our cultural moment.  This moment is defined by all of us, each of us, finding our compositional voice.

The aspiration, then, should not be to become rich and famous like a 1960's rock star (the 1960's was the last hurrah of Romanticism, wasn't it, with debauched and overemotional heroes like Jim Morrison?  I remember reading a piece about Dylan Thomas, who confronted his writer's block by drinking himself to death, and contrasted it with professional authors of today, one of whom said when he gets blocked, "Usually I go for a run."), because famous rock star is no longer a viable career.  The aspiration, the aim, is to find your own sounds, and put them down (outside yourself and outside your own head), not so that the masses ever listen to them, but just as an indication that you are here.

Sunday, July 5, 2015

Silly Love Songs

In the most recent issue of The New Yorker, my favorite staff writer Adam Gopnik wrote a review of a number of books, but mainly this one book, "Love Songs: The Hidden History" by Ted Gioia.

The article traces the history of love poetry from troubadour poets through modern pop songs, but spends a great deal of time on Shakespeare's Sonnets.

I read this article at a time when I have been pondering the Love Song generally.

I remember noticing back in college when I was making mix tapes that most love songs are songs about love unrequited.  Longing and lack and frustration drive people to write songs.  Heartbreak and loss and disappointment drive people to write songs.  Hardly anyone ever writes a song when they are happy, and in a fulfilling and mutual relationship.  Probably they don't have time, was the theory I developed at the time.  Or they have nothing to say - happiness just kind of sits inarticulately, centered within itself, but pain and loss and longing generate a storm of words in the mind.

This week we have been immersed in the musical tradition of the American South, between about 1905 and 1950, the rise and dispersion of Blues music, through the migration of Black (African-American) people to rural areas in the South, and then on to urban areas in South and North.

The tradition develops alongside a Gospel tradition, but in parallel and separate - one voice in a documentary on Blind Willie McTell says that when his sister brought Blind Willie home to meet her family, he, her brother, was afraid they were all going to Hell from knowing this man.  Blues music was not accepted by those who used Gospel music to glorify God (although the story went on to tell how McTell learned Gospel songs as well, which ingratiated him into his wife's family, and made him one of the rare musicians of the time to play in both traditions).

If you listen to lots of recordings of Blues music from this period, there are no love songs.  There are lots of descriptions of life itself, and locations, and travelling, and work.  There are descriptions of fights and disagreements and misunderstandings.  There are testaments of hard luck and loss of hope and weariness.  There are a lot of songs about sex.  But nothing that would sound like a Romantic Poet's words to the object of his affection.  No descriptions of otherworldly beauty, comparing one's love to the stars or the sun or to Heaven, no threats that one will die without the return of his beloved's affections.

There isn't even this same kind of tenor in the Gospel music.  The stories they pick from the Bible to turn into songs, the ones that come to mind to me most quickly although I'll be the first to admit I haven't studied this tradition at all, but to the outsider the first ones that come to mind are all about places, and journeys - the River Jordan, Jacob's Ladder.  Journeying, getting to a good place, going Home.  Not having your soul rapt in transcendent euphoria.  That is a white, European tradition.

It's the one I grew up with, though.  The theme through all the sad songs of longing on those mix tapes.  I grew up immersed in a particular cultural understand of Love, and attraction (and longing and need and lust and all the rest).

I understand that, and understand that not everyone grew up in the same one, in fact almost no one really, except maybe other girls who grew up about that same time, which doesn't help me at all.

But the act of interacting outside that culture, and expecting more matter of fact approaches to living and to each other, I can get my brain to go along with it as a project, but my heart is lagging behind.

June, moon, spoon.

Sunday, June 28, 2015

Hard Work For Them

We were in Green Bay to see the band The Twistin Tarantulas, my partner, his brother and I.

They are a punk-rockabilly band - their music is right on the boundary between the two.  Very fast, very funny.  Only one original member was touring with them, the bass player and singer.  The other members were quite a bit younger, but killer players, so the music was exciting and accomplished and fun.

The three of us all are guitar owners and guitar players, and we have gone out to see bands and have been collecting records for all of our respective lives.  We know lots of musicians, and so we know what they have to do, first to be able to play at that level, and second to live the life.  This band is out of Detroit, but had travelled all together in a van to Wisconsin, to play for a couple of hours in this dark bar to this baker's dozen of people.

We know that touring bands make most of their money from merchandise, and this band had just finished recording a new CD, which the bass player-singer promoted from the stage.  He said, "We just finished a new album," so see him after the show to pick one up, and support the band.  "We worked hard on it.  And hard work should be rewarded!  So come by after the show and pick up our new CD.  Here's a song from it..."

There was a skinny, weedy guy standing next to me, beer in his hand.  Sinewy, maybe, is a better description.  Not young, not a young guy, maybe 40's, but they had obviously been a tough 40-some years.  Jean jacket, maybe.  After this speech from the bass player, this guy caught my eye and smiled.  He leaned over and said in my ear, which you had to do because the bar was so loud, he said, "Hard work! Hard work for them might be the tips of their fingers get a little sore."  He curled his left hand and gestured to the fingertips with one of the fingers from his beer-holding hand.  

I was struck because this was so opposite from my beliefs about touring punk-rockabilly musicians.  I knew that all three of us were there to bear witness in awe to their might and grandeur, dreaming but knowing that we could never, even if we started today and gave everything to it, never play as well as they were playing, and do what they do.  I had been standing there in that shared knowledge and admiration, so this perspective was so opposite, but then looking at the guy, you knew that in fact he did know hard work, and none of us had any grounds to say anything different about it.

My boyfriend said several days later - "I realized at the time, I just had the 'Money For Nothing' conversation."


The Value of Music is the Experience of the Listener

So my pondering continues.  Where is value generated in music?  Not just where is the money generated, because we know the answer to that question, sort of, but then also, due to the Music Industry currently undergoing so much change, and threats to its old business model and techniques of sustainability, the answers are probably also too temporary - where the money comes from today is probably not going to be where the money comes from tomorrow.

So I try to go more essential.  Where is surplus value generated, that could be skimmed off to sustain the life of the musician?

Three different sources recently tell me that it's the experience of the listener.

One: I'm still making my way through the Audio book of Philip Glass's new autobiography, Words Without Music.  When telling of his early career, just out of music school and during a time of modern revolution in many art forms, he quotes a colleague who I'll have to back and see if it was a teacher or friend or inspirational mentor, or possibly a Yogi because he spent quite a bit of time in India at various ashrams studying those traditions, he quotes a colleague who said that the aim of performance is to create transcendent experiences in the audience.  The colleague says that's why they were stripping out traditional narrative, and the expected trappings of traditional theater.  By removing those familiar things, and presenting experimental live experiences, it create the possibility for a transcendent experience in the audience members.  Philip Glass signs on and says that the music and theatrical experiences he composed are designed to do that too.

Two: My guitar teacher and his wife were visiting, and on that visit he talked about a rehearsal that his band recently had inside a dance studio, in front of mirrors.  They were working on their use of the stage, in terms of their own movements and their interactions with others in the band, and they had been working with a friend of his wife who has a background in theater and stage management.  What he said they picked up is that how you move can help put the song across better for an audience.  You can create an experience in the audience just by playing the song, but by then also stepping back so that the featured performer is out in front just at a certain time when their part is important, or by coming up all together instead of moving separately, it reinforces what's going on in the music and more strongly creates the experience in the audience.  I had just seen his band, at what turned out to be a show right after this mirror practice, and had in fact obtained the experience that he described, which I reliably get at each of their shows, sometimes not until right before the end of the first set, but every time, I hit those heights where the music is moving me and lifting me up, and I feel like the crowd is one entity, and that we're all in the experience together.  Usually they are playing Photograph by Def Leppard when this happens, so I'm sure part of it is my past experience and life-long fandom of the song.  But that's definitely why I go see them, and why I love doing it.

Three:  This video, posted on the Facebook page of a college classmate who has continued performing ever since, as a dancer, and also as part of this band.  Just look at the people in the crowd. Right there, that is the value of music performance, plain as day.


Wednesday, June 17, 2015

The Music Business

One thing I've been able to stand back and observe about myself, with the wisdom of age and perspective, is that in stressy work situations, those that inspire frustration and anger, but even more so those that could be construed as some kind of personal failure, I have a reflexive "flight" response.

Usually, that desire to just walk out and go do a different job is fixated on some particular alternative that has presented itself to my imagination.  The most recent time this happened, there happened to be a position posted at my local music store for a Music Education Manager.

My guitar teacher talked me down from actually walking out of my current day job, so I never did formally apply for the Music Education Manager position, but it has haunted me in fantasy ever since, and is still my go-to Happy Place imaginary alternative work position, on days of high stress (before this it was to be the new owner of a shop that sells bird houses and birdseed, at which I had noticed a "Business for Sale" sign, but that has been sold to new owners so that path is, for now, closed to me).

Then, recently, an actual professional Music Education professional of my acquaintance posted a Facebook link to an article online that injoined Music Educators to stop trying to rationalize the value of music education by linking it to work-related transferable skills that the students could gain. This was a wrong and dangerous path, the article argued.  Music has intrinsic value.  It is around us all the time, and it is of intrinsic value to learn more about it.

And then, just this morning, a college classmate posted a Facebook link to an article that made basically an identical argument, but this time about Liberal Arts education generally.  Stop trying to argue that a Liberal Arts degree has value primarily for the job skills that graduates can bring to the workforce.  Liberal Arts have intrinsic value.  They are important in themselves.

This subject matter has been top of mind in my State recently, as our right-wing, non-University educated Governor continues to slash budgets not just for childhood education but for the reknowned state university system, and news spread among my peers like wildfire a few weeks ago when he "accidentally" struck out the "search for truth" part of the Univeristy's Mission, and replaced it with "training the future workforce".

Those of us who have and have provided for others Liberal Arts education, and those Music Educators of my acquaintance, both feel very strongly that education is different from trade school, that it has intrinsic value beyond the workplace skills it may indirectly provide, and that a developed society should provide it to its citizens.

So, having done an MBA as well, following my Liberal Arts degree (and two more graduate degrees in between, in a fiercely impractical subject matter), and also having been wondering how I could flee my current day job but still live in the lifestyle to which I've become accustomed, lately what's been on my mind is, where does the value derive, for Music Education (and by extension music itself, the existence of it and the listening to it as an audience member but also the opportunity to learn about it and make it oneself)?

What are the economics, here, and how can they be played into a decent replacement salary for me?

The other input to these musings is the new book by composer Philip Glass.  The section of the book that has stayed with me was his description of his music education, which he received in France on a Fulbright scholarship.  The intense, difficult, grueling training that he describes was essential for him to become a composer, because composition requires a breadth of musical expertise.  And he needed to be pretty darned good to be able to go beyond any composer who had lived before in history, and to extend the form in revolutionary ways, as he did (as he has).  He describes what he was trying to bring to the audience of his pieces (transcendence, basically).  He states what he thinks music is for (to learn to listen), in contrast with other art forms (dance is to learn to move, writing is to learn to speak, painting is to learn to see, I can't remember what else).

But, is that enough?  To devote a whole, whole human life to?  To delve in and learn and learn and practice and practice, to suffer and be punished and humiliated and struggle and think and analyze and practice and remold yourself into a musician, into a music creator, into a music revolutionary who expressed something essential about our epoch in a way that no one else every quite did - is it worth it?


Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Poem: Mixing Suchness

Mixing Suchness

It's late evening and the room is dark
We pull up our chairs and sit close,
my arm through your arm,
like we were in a theater or at the show

Watching the sound waves as they pass would be too distracting
so we turn off the lights
and look together into the glassy black

You have taken days, but the mix is good
balanced left and right
shimmering without hiss
balanced low and high
and the warm human voices come up like a blanket underneath

A ghost of blue light tries to get our attention
as alerts and warnings always do
but we stay with the sound

We are still and listen

The first one ends in bird song
The second one ends with the cymbals' decay and dying away

Monday, June 8, 2015

Musical Imagination and the License Number of that Car...

I don't know if I'm a composer, my guitar teacher recently had me writing songs and a couple of them got finished and turned into actual, whole compositions, but I do have little tunes that run through my head, often.

I've been trying to record them, using the voice recorder on my phone, but that's not what they sound like in my head.  Sometimes they have a sense of full orchestration.  They are usually little melodies, but sometimes when I try to sing them into the phone, I can't figure out how to get from one note to the later one.  It feels quite distinct in my head, but the details sometimes don't come out right on the recording.

If I listen more carefully, sometimes I can get it.  I am definitely just listening, not making any conscious decisions, so I know that, so far, composition does not come from any intentional part of my brain.

I was thinking the other day, thought, that the little tunes seem to have a specific tonality, but when I attend, I can't tell what instrument it could be.  The sensation of the interior song seems quite specific, but the tones are made by no specific instrument or voice.

How can this be?  Well, pretty easily.  Imagination, I know from grad school, is often indistinct on details, even though it seems quite whole.  I remember very well a Professor of mine in a grad school seminar on either John Locke or the Philosophy of Mind, because I took both from him, he made the point by having us imagine a car, really try to see it, imagine it in detail, get a vivid mental picture, and then he asked us, what's the license plate number?  Of course, none of us had an answer.  But our imaginary cars didn't have an empty space where the license plate would go; they weren't blurred out like you see on reality television; they were just indistinct, indeterminate.

So the tonality of the little tunes in my head.  I know they're coming from some kind of creative musical engine inside my brain, and they seem so specific and complete, but when I try to whistle or sing them into the phone, the indeterminate details become evident.  They are like compositions from a dream.

Monday, May 18, 2015

Heart Live

A few months ago there was a quick going around Facebook where you could find out how much of a music snob you are.  I didn't too badly, something in the 50%'s I believe.  A music journalist friend scored up in the 70's I think, and lodged and objection that too many of the questions were US-based (like have you attended Coachella, that kind of thing).  My boyfriend scored something like 85%.  One of the things he got points for and I did not was the statement, "Agree or disagree: I have skipped seeing a band that I like perform live because I wanted to wait until I could see them in a smaller venue."  That is him all over.  His ideal perfect concert situation is to sit in the front row of a show at a coffee house or small room or basement where the performer is about three feet away, and ideally there are only about ten other people in the room, although it might be even better if none of them were there at all.

I am different, because I have long loved being part of a big crowd of people all doing the same thing at once.  That's one reason I love large sporting events, and I'm sure it's one of the things I love about the church where I sing in the choir.  But I especially love it as a way to listen to live music.

I grew up in large stadiums.  My college wasn't in a big city, but during high school I was able to see a fair few bands perform in big venues, and I've been able to see a few here and there since then.

Last night, I was transported back to that time.  The band Heart played at our local Performing Arts Center, a 2000-ish seat theater that is usually host to touring Broadway musicals, and is the home venue for our local Symphony.  It has white walls and brass trim and red plush seats, so you wouldn't immediately think of it as a rock venue, but it was perfect.

The stage was fairly spare, just a drum kit and a keyboard and stacks of amps, low-lit in blue as we all took our seats.  The crowd was all exactly my same age, dressed in what they wear to go see an 80's cover band at a bar.  We looked good, but let's face it, we're all a bit older.  There was no opening act, and the whole show was finished by 9:30 pm, which is good for a Sunday night because we all had to get up and go to work today.  A local DJ came out and greeted us, and introduced the charity to whom a donation was being made from the night's proceeds.  People filtered in, and the ushers futilely tried to them them not to take pictures with their phones.

When the lights went down, though, and the white streaming sunburst of stadium-style lights swept down, and then up, we were all on our feet, and the sound we made was one I haven't heard in years and years.  It was dark, so you couldn't see the plush seats or the brass railings.  You could only see the rock and roll stage and then the crowd of people with their hands in the air, as one.  I was exactly transported back to McNichols Arena in Denver, Colorado, where I last saw this band in August of 1980, according to some Googling I did today.

My boyfriend beside me did very well.  He is a bit younger so he doesn't identify with big 1970's stadium rock as personally as I do (I remember being swept away with nostalgia and passion one time when my guitar teacher's band performed their cover of Photograph by Def Leppard, and I turned back to catch his eye and share the moment with him, and also my sister who was also there and is also younger but not as much as he is, and both of them just stared at me, clearly feeling nothing at all, they could have had the same expressions while listening to Hold music while waiting online to talk to their bank or some government agency.  How is that even possible, for them not to hear it, not to be moved in the same way?  The sounds are just out there, for everyone equally to hear!) and during the first few songs that Heart played he was standing with arms crossed in front of him, but by the time it was done he had grabbed me in his arms and swayed along with one of the power ballads, and cheered, and was certainly smiling along with the faithful who had just seen a wonderful show.

This is where I come from.  I grew up in that space that I was once again in last night, and it was such a privilege to be able to be in it again, so exactly.




Born to Dance

A song from my boyfriend's past emerged in my own life a few weeks ago, and in my ensuing obsession I watched a YouTube clip of a news story originally broadcast on local TV in Champaign-Urbana, in which an earnest young reporter declaims straight to the camera that music was in trouble, dying even, but that the bands in her college town have rescued it and brought it back.

Each member of the band is interviewed, intercut with performance footage of them at an iconic local bar, including the song in question.  One of the band members points out that one of the things that had been wrong with music (remember the times, and think bloated proggy FM-friendly groups like Yes, Emerson Lake and Palmer, the Eagles on their bad days) is that you couldn't dance to it, and that his band was bringing dance music back.

I have been thoroughly saturated in Garage music since the second half of my college years, the original stuff from the 1960's and the second wave of it from the Paisley Underground in the 1980's, and for me it's the core of everything, and anchors everything else about music for me, but I never especially appreciated it as dance music.  "Dance" usually refers to either disco or electronica, neither of which were central to me or in my wheelhouse at all, ever (if my parents had been a bit more lax about language standards, I would have had a "Disco Sucks" t-shirt in junior high and high school, definitely).  Also, I have mainly appreciated the Garage genre in the privacy of my bedroom, with headphones on and the album cover gripped in my hands, reading historical liner notes and lyrics and what have you.

But they're right.  It's very hard to dance to Yes, but it's easy to dance to the Vertebrats, even if you're mainly just hopping up and down in the one spot.

This hopping up and down is one of the native dances of my people - I remember being smushed into a big crowd under a hot big-top tent at Sydney's Homebake festival, hopping up and down along with the band members onstage of Regurgitator (trying to keep track of my backpack which was on the ground at my feet, cumbersome but good for surviving an all-day festival).  The other involves kicking your feet out and swinging the opposite arm, like you were running but in place, and perfected by Belinda Carlisle in the early career of the Go-Go's.

I have been in groups who grew up moving to different music, and you can really tell.

One time was at a friend's birthday party at the Greek Club in Brisbane, Australia (the story about this party led to a running inside family joke*). After dinner, there was plate smashing - the friend had wanted to hold her birthday here partly just for that, I think because she'd had a recent relationship disappointment and wanted to get her feelings out in the white pottery shards.  And then there was dancing, which I remember being in a circle.  It wasn't especially fast, but was a little bit complicated, and the regulars helped us learn the steps.  We stiffly staggered around the circle like puppets made of boards and springs, but I remember watching the Greek ladies.  Older ladies, dressed all in black, with sensible shoes, but these ladies could move.  They just had a smooth, fluid way of doing things.  You could see how, if you really knew how to do this, how sexy it was.  We all laughed at ourselves and felt humble, and talked afterwards at length about the Greek ladies, and how they moved, could just move, and how really you have to grow up doing this to be like that.  We were all stunned by the difference.

A second experience, exactly the same observation but this time it was a Sales and Marketing team from Latin America.  I was at a world-wide Sales convention for a global software company that I had only just joined.  The Sydney office was in a region that had previously been called "Rest of World", showing how strategically important and central it was to the company's mission, but under an inspiring leader we had become an actual defined region and tight-knit team, the "Asia Pacific and Latin America" region (I think they used the acronym "APL" at that point, and very soon after that we became "AMPACA", same region but reporting into a differently structured team at headquarters, and now I don't know what they call it, I've been away for quite a few years).  As part of one of the big dinners at the meeting, they gave out awards to different teams, and the teams had to come up to a stage at the front of the big hotel ballroom where we were dining.  We were a software company, remember, so the first few sets of nominees were all awkward tech types.  I can envision white short-sleeved shirts, and grey slacks, and slumped shoulders, and downward glances when accepting the award.  In part I'm sure to cover some of the awkwardness, the ceremony included loud music played while teams walked up to the stage, and during the presentation of the award certificates.

Then there was an award for which the Latin American Marketing team was nominated.  The team gathered on the stage, and as one started moving to the accompanying music.  Their hips were moving, they were swaying and bobbing up and down, it was as if they couldn't help themselves.  And then, when they won, they danced even more.  Found a groove in the loud corporate music and carried it onto the ballroom floor all the way back to their seats.

Later, a band played and there was more general dancing, and since I was a new team member, one of the Latin American team members invited me to dance.  I have always been a quick study of dance moves, and consider myself fairly rhythmic and coordinated, but I realized that I could not dance at all, compared to him.  Again, I felt like that wooden, sprung puppet.  There were gyroscopic directions my hips were supposed to go that they just didn't move that way.  The experience was humbling, and astonishing, and impressive.

Again, it really helps to be born into it and do it all your life.  There's just something different about it.

*Family inside joke: The other reason my friend cited for wanting to have her birthday at the Greek Club was that they served grilled octopus.  I was describing this to my sister on a long-distance call after the event.  My sister was in the US and I had lived in Australia for about four years at this point, plus San Diego for about four years before that, so about eight years all up in the Pacific Rim.  "They served grilled octopus," I said to my sister on the long distance phone, "and they were octopus legs, not the little octopus, you know, like in salad."  My sister paused a beat and said, "Excuse me?"  Salads with little baby octopus in them were not as common in the parts of the US she had spent her whole life in, and once she pointed this out I realized how bizarre my statement would have sounded, and we must have laughed for five minutes straight.  So, henceforth, "You know, like in salad!" has become family shorthand for anything that someone else would find completely alien and bizarre but you've become used to.

Saturday, May 16, 2015

Deep Listening and being a Music Explorer

The story goes that experimental musician Pauline Oliveros was experimenting with a reel to reel tape machine, and at one point hung both the microphone and her head out the window of her New York apartment.  When she listened back, she was astonished at what more the microphone recorded than what she had heard with her ears.

The fact is, when we human beings listen, normally we are attending to one thing, and therefore blocking out any other sound.  If I was speaking this out loud to you, you would be blocking out the sounds of the room, or outside, to be able to attend to my voice.  Our brains are wired up to work this way for a reason, so that we can function in the world, but the Deep Listening experiment involves reversing it, and opening up your hearing so that you're aware of the entire sonic landscape.

Often this kind of injunction comes across as a criticism, or as a rule for how you should always be - you've heard them before, "Humans only use 10% of our brain," "You should go through your day using Mindfulness: pay careful attention to how the Cheerios feel as you eat them for breakfast, take a different route to work, shop at a different store." "Observe the visual using the right side of your brain."  They often sounds like criticism of how you normally live, and injunctions to always drive your experience this other way.

Deep Listening is not like that, because it wouldn't work to always listen this way.  It would be as they describe certain types of autism - being confronted by a full palette of undifferentiated sound all the time, and not being able to distinguish anything.  It would be worse than impractical, it would be dangerous.  So, the injunction is not a criticism of how you've been hearing all your life, it's just an interesting experiment you can do with your attention, it's an alternative experience to try, but we certainly don't expect you to live this way all the time.

So, the experiment is - try to flip your attention, so that you're not attending to one sound and trying to block out the rest of the background noise, but attend to what the whole landscape of sound around you sounds like.  I will stop talking. Can you hear the ticking of the clock?  Can you hear the ticking of both clocks, the one right here and also the one in the other room?  What else?  Furnace, bird, car passing by, bubbling fountain?

And then, the next step is, become a sonic explorer.  Put your ears in a different relationship with the source of a sound - turn your head, rotate your body, get up close to a hard surface to see if the reflections change the sound.  Then pick things up, hit them, ping them, crumple them.  What sound does this make?

You can't do this all the time.  But we can all do it more than we do, and it opens up, at least during the experiment, a sonic world that is most of the time hidden to us, because of the way we attend, which we can't help doing and is helpful for survival and getting by in the world, but because we can attend, we can also open up, and for a while see what it's like.